Are modern gender norms acceptable?

· Is chivalry sexist?
· Can we justify gender-imbalanced courtship traditions?
· Should men wear make-up and women burn their bras?
· What (if any) is the problem with the stay-at-home mom?

Are we slaves to society? Or is there no distinction between the individual and his (or her) societal context? How do we separate what we really want from what we only think we want? We so often hear encouragement to “be the ‘real’ you”—but how should we interpret this admonishon? Joe Carlsmith argued that the phrase is nonsensical. Rejecting what others think of it is not only impossible, it’s foolish. That isn’t to say we should abandon all sense of agency; but one ought at least take caution against the glorification of total autonomy.

So we must think of gender norms as a synthesis of individual conviction and societal proscription. Genetic differences can’t be disregarded, but environmental factors run deep enough to be difficult to distinguish from biology.

What gender norms make us uncomfortable, and which ones do we believe are defensible? Perspectives will, of course, vary greatly. We generally agreed that the phenomenon of femininity is here to stay, as is masculinity, but that freedom of choice should not be restricted. We should advocate equality of opportunity, which may in some cases mean providing special care on the basis of biological distinction (for example, providing day care services for mothers). At the same time, paternalism is unjustified—an individual’s choice of lifestyle is neither the business of the government nor that of society to affirm or devalue, regardless of its alginment with extant gender norms.

As members of a western liberal democracy, we believe in the sacristy of egalitarianism (to one degree or another). Yet we hesitate to impose normative assertions on unwilling individuals, and the tempering of gender norms (if we desire it) must arise organically. A top-down legislative agenda would be undesirable as well as impractical. We may hope, however, that gradually increasing social progressivism will lead to societal enrichment as individuals seize greater freedom of opportunity.